We’re NUFC, and We’re Used to Taking Hammerings

*UPDATED: Included April 5th game against Manchester United.
**UPDATED: Included April 28th game against Arsenal.

A quote from Alan Pardew after the wretched display from his team against Southampton this weekend:

“When we turn to the fans, what can we say? They left at half past five this morning and they’ve come to watch a performance that isn’t ‘us’.

Far be it from me to disagree with our esteemed manager, but fans of Newcastle United have heard apologies like this all before. The last part is especially irksome because it seems like all too lately, Newcastle teams managed by Alan Pardew get resoundingly beaten on a regular basis.

So this afternoon I did some research to find out just how many times have we been hammered under Pardew, and compare that with the season we were relegated. I’m going on the notion that a hammering is losing by three goals or more, and in the League only (because our club doesn’t care about the domestic cups).

Here’s what our Relegation Season Looks Like (2008 – 2009)

• Lost 3-0 to Arsenal on August 30th, 2008 (at the Emirates)
• Lost 5-1 to Liverpool on December 28th, 2008 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 3-0 to Blackburn on January 17th, 2009 (at Ewood Park)
• Lost 3-0 to Liverpool on May 3rd, 2009 (at Anfield)

That’s four times in our relegation season that we lost by three goals or more.

Here’s What Recent Seasons Under Pardew Look Like

Alan Pardew was appointed Newcastle United manager on December 9th, 2010. So all results from this point forward are tallied.

2010 – 2011 Season:

• Lost 4-0 to Stoke City on March 19th, 2011 (at Stoke)
• Lost 3-0 to Liverpool on May 1st, 2011 (at Anfield)

Chris Hughton’s tenure for that season saw his team lose two games by three goals or more – the opening game against Manchester United at Old Trafford (3-0 loss), and against Bolton Wanderers on November 20th (losing 5-1).

2011 – 2012 Season:

Remember, this is all Alan Pardew now, and this is the season we finished 5th in the league.

• Lost 3-0 to Chelsea on December 3rd, 2011 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 5-2 to Fulham on January 21st, 2012 (at Craven Cottage)
• Lost 5-0 to Tottenham on February 11th, 2012 (at White Hart Lane)
• Lost 4-0 to Wigan on April 28th, 2012 (at Wigan’s plastic stadium)

In total, we lost four games by three goals or more in the season we finished 5th in the league. This matches our relegation season in terms of losing by three goals or more. Only one of these heavy losses was at St. James’s Park.

2012 – 2013 Season:

This is the season we played in the Europa league following our 5th place finish the season before.

• Lost 3-0 against Manchester United on October 7th, 2012 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 7-3 against Arsenal on December 29th, 2012 (at the Emirates)
• Lost 4-0 against Manchester City on March 30th, 2013 (at the Etihad)
• Lost 3-0 against Sunderland on April 14th, 2013 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 6-0 against Liverpool on April 27th, 2013 (at St. James’s)

That’s five times we lost by three goals or more, with most of these heavy losses being at home.

2013 – 2014 Season:

• Lost 4-0 against Manchester City on August 19th, 2013 (at the Etihad)
• Lost 3-0 against Swansea on December 4th, 2013 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 3-0 against Sunderland on February 1st, 2014 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 3-0 against Chelsea on February February 8th, 2014 (at Stamford Bridge)
• Lost 4-0 against Tottenham on February 12th, 2014 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 3-0 against Everton on March 25th, 2014 (at St. James’s)
• Lost 4-0 against Southampton on March 29th, 2014 (at St. Mary’s)
• *Lost 4-0 against Manchester United on April 5th, 2014 (at St. James’s Park)
• **Lost 3-0 against Arsenal on April 28th, 2014 (at The Emirates)

So far, that is seven, eight, nine times this season we’ve been beaten by three goals or more. Notice the majority of these heavy losses are at home, and after we sold Yohan Cabaye during the winter transfer window. These results are almost over double our relegation season, double 2011-2012 season, and are two, three, four more heavy defeats than the total for the 2013-2014 season (and we’re not done yet).

Total defeats by three goals or more while Alan Pardew has been Newcastle United manager: 18,1920.

So I ask you Mr. Pardew, what part of ‘isn’t us’, was yesterdays performance? Because quite clearly under your tenure, we’re used to taking a spanking quite often.