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The Toon

Avoid the Drop and We’ll Buy Newcastle United

May 18, 2009

The Guardian are reporting today that should The Toon avoid relegation, investors would be willing to step in and offer Mike Ashley 140 million pounds for the club. The investors are made up of multi-millionaires from the U.S and the Middle-East. However, there’s that small problem of avoiding the drop. In no uncertain terms, Sunday’s [...]

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The Toon v Fulham: It’s Only Three Points

May 15, 2009

But what a three points it would be if we could put one over on the posh cockneys. Fulham aren’t the best travellers so the onus will be on Newcastle to get at ‘em from the first whistle to the last. Jose Enrique is a confirmed absentee and Alan smith will face a late fitness [...]

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Newcastle United Climb out of the Relegation Zone

May 11, 2009

A sterling performance from both fans and players helped Newcastle United to claw their way out of the bottom three on goal difference. Goals by Steven Taylor, Obafemi Martins and Peter Lovenkrands in response to Middlesbrough’s dodgy opener, an own goal by Habib Beye, was enough to sink the Smoggies and give Shearer his first [...]

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Relegation Looming for Lackluster Newcastle United

April 19, 2009

A tepid performance from Newcastle United in the nation’s capital today saw the Toon take one step closer to Championship football as a defeat by Spurs saw us gain no ground on the teams around us. Newcastle’s starting line-up included last weeks hero Andy Carroll but this task was just a little too much for [...]

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Goal from Gateshead Rescues Newcastle United

April 11, 2009

A game that was not so much about the football played but the result at the end of the game – The Toon started off with an unorthodox 3-5-2 formation with Ryan Taylor and Damien Duff getting up and down the flank. However, even though I appreciate Alan Shearer’s willingness to change the system, perhaps [...]

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Chris Hughton Finally Admits We’re in Trouble

March 25, 2009

As if a kick in the pants from Arsenal wasn’t enough, Chris Hughton, one of the men charged with Newcastle United’s Premier League status, finally admits that he’s looked at the Premier League table and saw that we are deep in the mire. For those who didn’t realise it was going to be a tough [...]

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Help Us El Tel!

March 24, 2009

Word has it that senior players at Newcastle United no longer think that Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood are capable enough of saving The Toon from relegation. Well no kidding! The fans knew that as soon as Joe Kinnear went in for surgery! Apparently, Toon players are calling for someone with a greater authority come [...]

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The Toon Make Progress in Hunt for New Players

January 12, 2009

Newcastle United in desperate need for new players to bolster their depleted squad have offered a trial to former transfer target Peter Lovenkrands. The former Rangers winger is available on a free and is currently on a week long trial. Should suit us great then, considering we’re just throwing money aboot like it’s going out [...]

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The Toon 1 – Liverpool 5

December 28, 2008

Earlier this year Kevin Keegan said that Newcastle United were “a million miles away” from challenging the top four of the Barclays Premier League. How right he was – hopefully those words are now ringing in Mike Ashley’s ears with a large amount of gusto. Liverpool outplayed and outclassed the Toon in every department today. [...]

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No Need for Scrooge As NUFC Gift Wigan Three Points

December 27, 2008

A thoroughly dejected Newcastle United trapsed out of the JJB yesterday having not won a game on Boxing Day for the past seven years. Ryan Taylor continued his uncanny escapade of scoring against us, the opener being the third time in succession. However, it was Lee Cattermole who incurred the wrath of the Toon fans [...]

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