Newcastle United in desperate need for new players to bolster their depleted squad have offered a trial to former transfer target Peter Lovenkrands. The former Rangers winger is available on a free and is currently on a week long trial. Should suit us great then, considering we’re just throwing money aboot like it’s going out of fashion!

Another rumour doing the rounds concerns Manchester City striker Jo moving further up North on a season long loan. Not sure how much legs this one has, but one thing’s for sure, tight Mike Ashley is certainly living up to his name – talk about tight fisted! Howay Mike, open up yer wallet and dust off those cobwebs man.