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Joe Kinnear’s Gaffes and Blunders

fuck off joe kinnear

So with the debacle surrounding Joe Kinnear’s bizarre return to St. James’s Park as Director of Football, I wanted to devote this page to Joe, and make it a bit of a tribute (read ‘mickey-take’), to Newcastle United’s newest employee. In other words, a selection of Joe Kinnear’s blunders and mishaps will be listed here.

Got any to add? Leave them in the comments, send me them on Twitter, or shoot me an email at

Mispronunciation of Player and Staff Names

Refers to Derek Llambias as Derek Lambeze.

Called Yohan Cabaye ‘Yohan Kebab’.

Called Hatem Ben Arfa ‘Hatem Ben Afri’.

Called Shola Ameobi ‘Shola Amamobi’.

Claimed Transfers

Claimed to have signed Tim Krul during his stint as manager of Newcastle United. Krul was actually signed by Graeme Souness and the Keeper actually made his debut in 2006 against Palermo.

Playing Staff Claims

Remembers James Perch from his stint as manager. Thing is, Perch didn’t sign for Newcastle until 2010 when Chris Hughton was gaffer.


Boasted that he won Manager of the Year three times (he actually won it once in 1994 and won manager of the month three times that season).

Playing Appearances

Claims to have made over 400 appearances for Spurs. Actually, Joe only made 196 appearances for Spurs.


Claims he can call up any manager in the world and have a conversation with them. Only mentions two, Alex Ferguson (retired), and Arsene Wenger. Didn’t realise Joe could speak multiple languages. Talented bloke!

Claims to despise the media, yet rings them up to announce his new job before there is an official response for the club or current manager Alan Pardew.

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